I sat down to make a list of exactly all the things that make me “me” and I started this list with “Mom” and then I went on to artist, homemaker, designer, wife and I ended with…oh yeah, I’m fucking funny, too…comic philosopher. I sat for a minute and reread the list several times, frowning. It just wasn’t sitting right. So I started a new list and put things in the proper order. Mom is not the number one thing that defines ME, in actuality I was a number of things before I was “Mom.”

First, I am a comic philosopher (even if you don’t think so, blurg you).

Second, I am an artist…photographer, designer that dabbles in fashion, decor and fine art.

Third, I’m a homemaker, master chef (ok, that’s a huge stretch) and crafty Mom…

and finally, I’m dead sexy… yes… because I get to decide, not you.

Do you want an actual bio?

I grew up a poor white child along the Central Coast of California. Some of it in the barrio, some of it in sleepy retirement towns with very few kids, raised by my mom, who hustled relentlessly and provided for my sister and I as a cocktail waitress and bartender.

Wait….you don’t want to go THAT far back?

Let’s try this again.

With a degree from UCLA in Fine Arts and an emphasis in photography, I dove straight into the world of magazine and catalog production. I eventually found myself on the better end of art direction for Variety Magazine designing ads, collateral and a very successful celebrity campaign.

This led me to a career shift at the Los Angeles Times as the “Director of Product Development” (don’t worry, I’m still not sure what that exactly means, either). Don’t get me wrong, I learned invaluable life and business lessons from my time as a suit at the Los Angeles Times but I was DYING to get back to my creative roots. Not to mention my eggs were getting old so…

Here we are in the present. Three years post LA Times and I have two beautiful baby girls, a lovely home and a wonderful husband. But I’m still me, right? The person I was before I got knocked up???

YES. So here I am, Annastasia Goldberg; Comic Philosopher, Artist, Homemaking Mom and…for the record, still Dead Sexy.